Rejoice, commuters. Thameslink has unveiled its "pocket-sprung foam mattress wingback chair", and chief executive John Whitehurst has been out and about promising "blissful journeys" for all.
"They will be a lot springier," he told the BBC. "You will sink into the chair and have a blissful journey."
Let us decode that, shall we? The seat, should you ever be in physical contact with one, will now be soft.
For those of us on the 07:42 from Harpenden, a seat is not a comfort issue. It is a rumour. Something spotted once near Luton and never confirmed. Padded versus ironing board is a debate for the fortunate few who have made it past the vestibule and the man with the folding bike.
The Thameslink Passenger Comfort Strategy, in full
- Do not add carriages. Do not add trains. Do not, under any circumstances, add drivers.
- Continue cancelling services at the last minute due to "a shortage of train crew", the phrase now heard at Harpenden more often than the departure chime.
- Take the seat that 60,000 people are standing next to, and make it 36% squidgier.
- Hold a press event.
Whitehurst, to his credit, admitted he has "travelled on these trains for 10 years so I know how hard and uncomfortable they are". Ten years. A decade of chief executives sitting on ironing boards before anyone thought to mention it. Herculean.
The prototype, we are told, is already being refined. Tall passengers found the wingbacks too winged. Short passengers found the seat too deep. The wings are to be "pared back a bit". One wonders how much of the pocket spring survives by the time the first one is bolted into a Class 700 in 2027, and whether anyone will notice the difference from a standing position.
That rollout, incidentally, takes two years. Two years to replace seats on trains whose £1.6bn contract was signed after the Department for Transport was warned the seats were dreadful. The Transport Secretary says the fix costs the taxpayer "not a penny". It also costs Siemens nothing they weren't already contracted to do, which is a marvellous kind of generosity.
Meanwhile, the road into Harpenden station car park remains a game of chicken between a Range Rover, a pushchair and a Deliveroo rider. Your correspondent finds himself, unusually, in full agreement with Conservative councillor Matt Cowley on this one. Fix the entrance. Then talk to us about lumbar support.
So there it is. The commute stays fast, unreliable and standing-room-only. But from next year, ever so slightly pocket-sprung, with just a hint of wingback.